Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: A Re-Wired Brain

rewired_brain

When exposed to danger, it’s natural to be afraid. Our bodies are triggered to make a split-second decision to either face the danger, or run from it: the “flight-or-fight” response. This is a healthy reaction. But in those with PTSD, they continue to be afraid and feel stressed long after the danger has passed – in my case, the speeding car at the Santa Monica Farmers’ Market. Symptoms, like avoiding places that trigger memories of the event, nightmares, depression, and hyper-vigilance – heightened awareness of your surroundings – may interfere with day-to-day-life. In hyper-vigilance, there is a perpetual scanning of the environment for sights, sounds, smells, or anything that is a reminder of threat or trauma. Just because you have been in a car accident, for instance, doesn’t mean you’ll be hyper-vigilant only for screeching brakes or beeping horns.

A month after my psychologist told me I had PTSD, I called her, wondering if I should go to the emergency room because my toe was red – I thought I had a life-threatening infection (I’m a nurse, and sometimes nurses know too much). I wouldn’t sleep in my bedroom on the third floor of my apartment because I was afraid of dying in a fire (I worked as a burn nurse years ago).

Months later, when shopping at an outside market with my father, I suddenly felt short of breath and couldn’t swallow. I told him he needed to drive me to the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack. I was a physically fit, non-smoking, lover-of-veggies thirty seven year old. I was not at risk for a heart attack. I called 911 three more times in the next few months, because I thought I was having allergic reaction: first to chocolate, then shellfish, then a bug bite. Miraculously, each time the EMT’s arrived, my rapid pulse slowed and my quivering body relaxed. I was suffering from panic attacks.

Before the accident, I had been known for my calm demeanor, and my no-worry attitude in my family. When working in the neonatal intensive care unit, I had been known for my in-control, I-can-handle-this disposition, even when a baby’s heart rate plummeted to near zero. After the accident, I felt as if there was a circuit breaker inside my brain that tripped at random moments, sending sparks into my nervous system. I didn’t know exactly where the breaker was located, or how to stop it from tripping. I reasoned that my brain had been re-wired. My reasoning was accurate – recently, I learned that researchers have found differences in the structure and circuitry of the brain between those with PTSD and those without it.

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treatment/overview/clinicians-guide-to-medications-for-ptsd.asp

 

4 Comments

  1. Melissa, this is both a brave and informative post. It’s important for people to realize that PTSD affects people beyond those returning from war, including quite likely people we know.

    • Thanks, Patrick, for taking the time to read this post, and for your support.

  2. Thank you for sharing. Can I ask if you still experience symptoms and if not, how did u get through it?

    • Hi Sherri.
      Thank you for reaching out and reading my post here. While I do still experience some PTSD symptoms, mostly a hyper-startle response, I have not had a panic attack in a long time. I do suffer from chronic anxiety, but I’ve learned to be better aware of what it is that makes me anxious. And when I am on the verge of panic attack, I’m now able to talk myself out of it. What helps most is envisioning a stop sign, and saying the word “stop” out loud. Of course, I’ve had a lot of help along the way – talk therapy, EMDR treatment, and cognitive therapy. And I am lucky in that I have a very supportive partner. Also, I practice meditation, do yoga, and engage in activities that bring me joy, like going for walks, blueberry picking, sitting by the lake near where we live, and more.

      I hope this helps!

      Again, thank you for reaching out.

      Melissa

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