Key to a Locked Door
A few weeks ago, when a companion from a local volunteer agency dropped our ninety-year old neighbor, Shirley, back home after running errands, she realized she had forgotten her key. I knew this only because she buzzed our unit number on the callbox outside of our condominium complex, and my husband answered from his cell phone at work (his cell phone is hooked up to the callbox). He buzzed her in then called me on my cell phone (we don’t have a land line) to let me know Shirley was in the lobby. Why am I telling you all of this? Be patient,...
read morePassage of Time
“Why does it have to pass so fast – time?” My husband asked me the other day. “Why can’t I slow it down?” He was rummaging through the kitchen pantry for peanut butter while I was tying my sneakers, anxious to get to the gym for a quick workout. I startled at the sound of the pantry door clicking shut, looked up, and saw him leaning over the kitchen sink, staring into the garbage disposal. He swiped the tear dripping down his cheek. I let my shoelaces fall to the side, pushed myself up from the floor, my forty-six year old knees cracking,...
read moreComing to a Complete Stop
A few days ago, when driving to the grocery store, I came to a stop sign. Like I had learned in driver’s education, I came to a complete stop, then started counting, one-two … Before I got to three, the car that had just approached the stop sign to my right did not come to a complete stop. It glided past the sign. I peered through my front windshield, squinting to see who was behind the wheel. I could have sworn I saw a woman with white hair. It’s an elderly driver, I thought. I continued in the direction of the store, following her. When she...
read moreAging with Dignity
My husband I recently escaped Vermont’s unforgiving cold and traveled to the west coast of Florida to visit with his aging parents – his mom nigh on eighty-five years; his dad approaching ninety. In the three or four months between visits, my husband speaks with them on the phone. Sometimes it goes like this: “Mom, it’s me Johnny, not Chris.” And, Dad, “You sound weak. Have you been eating?” Other times, it goes something like this: “Mom, Good. You’ve finally decided to listen to the doc. So you’re going to take your meds, right?” And, “Dad,...
read moreFrom Fearless to Fearful
A few weeks ago my husband and his three adult children listened to a tape of poems and stories his dad and mom recorded back in 1989. “Come on Eva,” Tom says. “Speak into the recorder. You know you don’t have to have someone right in front of you to talk.”She giggles, then says, “Your father thinks I’m afraid of the microphone. Do you kids know of anything I’m afraid of?”A daughter of a poor farmer, she left school at age fourteen to work the land. A stay at home mom, she never thought she’d have the opportunity to finish school. But she...
read moreANNALS OF MEDICINE: THE WAY WE AGE NOW
Atwul Gwande is a surgeon, writer, and public health researcher. He’s been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1998. The following link will bring you to his article titled, “Annals of Medicine: The Way We Age Now.” In the article, he describes how the human body changes as it ages. To read more, go to the following link: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/bios/atul_gawande/search?page=3&sort=publishdate+desc%2c+score+desc&contributorName=atul+gawande&rows=10&#ixzz29QeBxpLp
read moreThe Far Shore of Aging
For all of those who are caring for aging parents: Listen to National Public Radio’s broadcast, “The Far Shore of Aging,” aired on July 26, 2012. Krista Tippett speaks with Jane Gross, creator of The New York Times’ New Old Age blog. As she learned by taking care of her mother during her final years, we’re living longer and dying more slowly. Gross shares her wisdom about the new relationship between children and parents, and the changing way we think about the far shore of aging.Here’s the link to the broadcast:...
read moreWhen Should We Stop Driving?
100-year-old Preston Carter backed into 9 children and 2 adults near an elementary school in South Los Angeles on Wednesday, August 29th. The driver was not arrested and claimed that his brakes failed. Though the accident is under investigation, the driver still holds a valid driver’s license. Is there a definitive age when we should stop driving? Not necessarily; we all age differently. Yet, vision, hearing, motor skills, and cognitive functions deteriorate as we age; it’s inevitable. According to the British Columbia Automobile Association,...
read moreAlzheimer’s and Memory
In April 2010, The NPR radio show, “On Being” ( AKA Speaking of Faith ) broadcasted an interview with Dr. Alan Dienstag, a clinical psychologist from New York City who helps those caring for aging loved ones. The title of the show is “Alzheimer’s, Memory, and Being.” The premise of this show is human identity. Go to the following link to hear the interview: http://www.onbeing.org/program/alzheimers-memory-and-being/64
read moreRed Arrow Worries
My husband and I are in Florida, in July of all times. Spending the week on Anna Maria Island, where the Gulf coddles our toes in warm bath water, makes it tolerable. But the real reason we come to Florida this time of year is for no other reason than to visit his parents – Eve 84, Tom 89. I like to believe that when we come here all other worries will instantly wash away with the outgoing Gulf tide. Yet, that’s not possible. I can’t help but worry about Tom’s driving (Eve does not drive due to her macula degeneration). More specifically, I...
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